D3 body, D1 cock
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I am one with the molecules
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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