Umm I'm too high to move.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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