i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
