im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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