K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
