That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
