The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
