We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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