Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
