We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
