yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize