Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
