I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
is that a dick in a sweater?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
