We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Me too!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
