if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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