This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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