Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
