At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
