take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
