Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
