Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
