if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
