Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
