And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
