It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize