I can feel you judging me through the phone.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
