I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
