I feel like abortions should bother me more
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
