I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
