I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
