I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize