Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
