I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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