he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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