i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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