And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Randomize
