oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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