Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
