No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
