i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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