3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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