so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
