David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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