tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
