Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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