It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i out mim tonsoeep
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