Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
