I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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