She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
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