Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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