How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
