I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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