sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
