If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
